Finding Peace Through the Eight Limbs of Yoga: Embracing Ahimsa in Grief
Welcome to our new monthly series, which delves into the ancient wisdom of yoga and its profound philosophies. Laura Walton, the founder of lovelew, attests to yoga's incredible healing powers, especially in navigating the turbulent waters of grief. With its deep roots and comprehensive practices, yoga offers a sanctuary for those seeking to reconnect with their bodies and find grounding when other connections seem lost.
Each month, we will explore a different facet of yoga, deepening our understanding of how these practices can support and transform your journey through grief.
This series is not about mastering physical flexibility (although that’s a welcome benefit); it’s about fostering a connection between mind, body, and heart. Through time and practice, yoga can help you find a way to move through your grief.
Yoga isn't just the latest Instagram trend. It's a way of life. An ancient practice, philosophy, and purpose. It’s helpful to consider all 8 limbs of yoga and remember the original intention of yoga. To truly grasp its essence, we must dive into The Eight Limbs of Yoga, starring the yamas and niyamas. Each limb is a step and guidepost leading us onto the path of self-actualization. The yamas and niyamas are the first two practices of yoga. When we focus on these, they light the way for the rest.
Limbs 1 & 2: Yamas and Niyamas
When we are grieving, it can be easy to feel lost. Loss flips our world upside down in an instant. Suddenly, a part of us is missing, and everything feels out of place. When we resist what’s happened, we resist reality, and this disconnection with our bodies only grows stronger.
The Yamas remind us to stay rooted in the now. They're like the anchors keeping us grounded amid chaos. They nudge us to lean on others for support, and they're like the bouncers of our emotional boundaries. This is especially important when grieving, as we may need time and space to process our emotions. Remember: everyone grieves in their own way, on their own timelines.
The Niyamas encourage us to cultivate a sense of contentment and peace, even when we feel depressed, angry, or bitter. They remind us that it is okay to feel our emotions fully, without judgment, find strength in our vulnerability, access our inner wisdom and resilience, and feel pain, grief, and sadness.
They teach us about self-care and self-love. As we experience grief, it is important to nurture ourselves both physically and emotionally. It reminds us to tune in and check-in.
The Yamas and Niyamas are our life vests when everything feels adrift. They can ground us, even when our lives slip from beneath our feet. They remind us that we're not alone, that we're capable of self-care, and that this moment—grief and all—is where our power lies.
They don’t sugarcoat it. They don’t say to ‘move on’ or ‘just be grateful.’ No — they guide us to hold space for our grief. To feel our emotions. To find peace and presence, right here, right now.
The Other Limbs of Yoga 3-8
Asana (Postures): The physical postures of yoga, which most are familiar with, help improve body strength, flexibility, and balance, as well as discipline and concentration, aiding in the stilling of the mind.
Pranayama (Breath): Techniques designed to control the breath, which helps regulate the energy flow in the body, calms the mind, and prepares it for deeper spiritual practices.
Pratyahara (Withdrawal): This involves withdrawing the external senses to help the mind focus inward, fostering a deeper internal understanding of oneself.
Dharana (Concentration): Focusing on a single point or idea to calm and prepare the mind for meditation.
Dhyana (Meditative Absorption): Deep meditation, in which the mind is uninterrupted by external or internal distractions, connects deeply to the divine.
Samadhi (Enlightenment): The ultimate goal of yoga, where individual consciousness expands and merges with universal consciousness, achieving peace and enlightenment.
Applying Yoga to Grief: The Role of Ahimsa
In the context of grief, particularly when dealing with the sudden loss of a partner, the Yamas and Niyamas serve as foundational principles that can guide emotional healing. Among these, Ahimsa, or non-harming, is particularly significant.
Embracing Ahimsa: A Guide to Healing and Compassion in Grief
Grieving the sudden death of a partner is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences life can throw at us. The torrent of emotions can leave us feeling lost, isolated, and sometimes self-destructive. During such times, the ancient practice of Ahimsa, or non-harming, can offer a framework for navigating our grief with compassion and kindness towards ourselves and others.
Understanding Ahimsa in the Context of Grief
Ahimsa, a principle rooted in the yoga tradition, extends beyond the simple avoidance of physical violence. It encompasses a holistic approach to living that encourages non-violence in thoughts, words, and actions toward all beings, including oneself. For someone grieving, adopting Ahimsa can mean transforming the internal landscape of self-criticism and harsh judgment into one of compassion and self-care.
Ahimsa teaches us:
Self-Compassion: Being gentle with ourselves, forgiving our perceived shortcomings, and permitting ourselves to grieve in our way and time.
Non-Judgment: Allowing ourselves to experience various emotions without labeling them as 'good' or 'bad.'
Mindful Actions: Choosing actions that nurture rather than harm, whether towards ourselves or others.
Practical Tools for Implementing Ahimsa in Your Grief Journey
1. Gentle Movement
Incorporating gentle physical activities like yoga can significantly aid in managing grief. Yoga poses, especially heart-opening asanas such as Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana), Fish Pose (Matsyasana), and Warrior I (Virabhadrasana I), help in releasing the physical tension that grief harbors in the body. Practicing these poses can create a space for emotional release and bring a sense of well-being.
Tips for Practice:
Start with short sessions and gradually increase as you feel comfortable.
Focus on your breath, allowing each inhale to bring calm and exhale to release sorrow.
Join a gentle guided class if starting on your own feels overwhelming.
2. Mindful Meditation and Loving-Kindness
Meditation can anchor us during the storms of grief. Practices like Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta) foster an attitude of compassion towards oneself and extend it outward to others. This form of meditation involves silently repeating phrases of goodwill and kindness towards yourself and then to others, helping to soften feelings of anger and isolation.
Steps to Practice:
Find a quiet space and sit comfortably.
Begin by directing kind phrases to yourself, such as, "May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be at ease."
Gradually extend these intentions to others, from loved ones to all living beings.
3. Self-Care Habits Like Journaling for Emotional Clarity
Writing can be a therapeutic outlet for the emotions that accompany grief. Journaling your feelings or writing letters to your partner can be particularly cathartic. It allows you to express thoughts and emotions that you might not be ready to speak aloud.
Journaling Prompts:
Write about your favorite memories with your partner.
Express the things you wish you had said.
Reflect on how you have grown since the loss.
4. Creating Rituals
Developing personal rituals can provide comfort and a sense of continuity in life after loss. These might include lighting a candle daily, visiting a place that was special to both of you or celebrating their birthday or your anniversary meaningfully.
Ideas for Rituals:
Plant a tree or garden in their memory.
Compile a scrapbook or photo album celebrating their life.
Cook their favorite meal on significant dates.
5. Nourishing the Body
Grief can take a significant toll on the body. Prioritizing physical health through proper nutrition, hydration, and sleep is essential. In this context, Ahimsa means treating your body with kindness and recognizing that nourishing the body can also heal the mind.
Simple Steps to Start:
Aim for balanced meals with plenty of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains.
Establish a calming bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
Reduce intake of substances like alcohol and caffeine, which can exacerbate anxiety and depression.
6. Connecting with Community
Isolation can amplify grief. Connecting with others who understand your loss or joining support groups can provide solace and understanding. In line with Ahimsa, approaching these relationships openly and without expectations helps build a supportive community.
Ways to Connect:
Join a grief support group or seek out grief counseling.
Reach out to friends and family, even just to share space, without needing to talk about your grief.
7. Forgiveness and Release
Forgiveness of oneself and others can be a powerful aspect of healing. Holding onto guilt or resentment only perpetuates inner violence. Practice forgiving yourself for things you might have said or done, and gently work towards forgiving others who may not have provided the support you expected.
Practicing Forgiveness:
Reflect on any feelings of guilt or anger and acknowledge them.
Write forgiveness letters you don't have to send to express and release these emotions.
Conclusion
Adopting Ahimsa in your grief journey encourages a shift from self-criticism and isolation to a more compassionate and mindful way of healing. Remember: Ahimsa is not about avoiding or suppressing pain. It’s about creating a space where healing can unfold with kindness and compassion. Embracing these practices creates an environment where healing is nurtured, and peace can gradually return. Each step is taken with kindness and non-harm, which leads you further from pain to peace.
