Embracing Aparigraha: Navigating Grief Through Non-Possessiveness
Welcome to the fifth post in our new monthly series, which delves into the ancient wisdom of yoga and its profound philosophies. Laura Walton, the founder of lovelew, attests to yoga's incredible healing powers, especially in navigating the turbulent waters of grief. With its deep roots and comprehensive practices, yoga offers a sanctuary for those seeking to reconnect with their bodies and find grounding when other connections seem lost.
Each month, we will explore a different facet of yoga, deepening our understanding of how these practices can support and transform your journey through grief.
This series is not about mastering physical flexibility (although that’s a welcome benefit); it’s about fostering a connection between mind, body, and heart. Through time and practice, yoga can help you find a way to move through your grief.
Yoga isn't just the latest Instagram trend. It's a way of life. An ancient practice, philosophy, and purpose. It’s helpful to consider all 8 limbs of yoga and remember the original intention of yoga. To truly grasp its essence, we must dive into The Eight Limbs of Yoga, starring the yamas and niyamas. Each limb is a step and guidepost leading us onto the path of self-actualization. The yamas and niyamas are the first two practices of yoga. When we focus on these, they light the way for the rest.
Grieving the sudden death of a partner can leave you grappling with intense emotions and attachments, not only to the person you've lost but to the life and future you had envisioned together. During such tender times, the ancient yoga philosophy of Aparigraha—which translates to non-greed, non-possessiveness, or non-hoarding—offers a transformative perspective that can help ease the pain of death by teaching us to let go of excessive attachments and live in acceptance of what is.
Understanding Aparigraha
Aparigraha is one of the five Yamas, which are moral disciplines outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, intended to guide us toward ethical living and spiritual attunement. It encourages the release of our grip on the material and emotional crutches we often lean on for security, reminding us that true peace comes from within and not from external sources.
Aparigraha and Its Relevance to Grief
When you’re engulfed in grief, it’s natural to cling to memories, belongings, and even the identity that was tied to your deceased loved one. Aparigraha brings our awareness to where we might hold on tights, and teaches us that this clinging, while an absolutely normal part of mourning, can impact our grief journey. Here’s how Aparigraha can be particularly relevant when you’re navigating the turbulent waters of grief:
Letting Go of Physical Possessions: Choosing to keep only those items that truly have meaning and letting go of the rest can help in decluttering both your physical space and your mind, making room for new experiences and memories.
Releasing Emotional Attachments: Aparigraha helps us acknowledge our feelings without being controlled by them. It supports us in confronting our new reality without our partner, reducing the guilt or anxiety that can arise from moving forward.
Understanding Non-Possessiveness in Relationships: This principle also teaches us about maintaining balanced relationships with others during grief, helping us seek support without dependency.
Practical Applications of Aparigraha in Managing Grief
Mindfulness and Meditation
Engage in practices that help you observe your attachments and learn to release those that don’t serve you gently. Meditation focused on letting go can be a powerful tool in your healing journey.
Journaling
Write about your experiences with letting go of attachments—whether they’re physical items, belief systems, relationships, or outdated self-identities. This can help you process your emotions and track your progress.
Yoga Practices
Incorporate specific yoga poses that encourage physical and emotional release, such as forward folds and twists. These poses can symbolize and facilitate the letting go of what no longer serves you.
Intention Setting
Use your daily meditation or yoga practice to set intentions based on Aparigraha. Focus on letting go of one thing each day, whether it’s a physical item or an emotional burden.
The Emotional Benefits of Practicing Aparigraha
Freedom: By releasing our grip on the past and our fears about the future, we open ourselves up to new possibilities for happiness and connection.
Peace: Accepting the impermanence of life and our experiences can bring profound peace and reduce the suffering that comes from resistance.
Resilience: Each act of letting go strengthens us, building our resilience and enabling us to face future challenges with grace and strength.
Conclusion: A Journey Towards Healing and Renewal
Aparigraha isn't about forgetting or minimizing the love you had or the death you've endured. Instead, it's about easing the grip of grief enough to make space for continued growth, new joys, and enduring memories. As you apply the lessons of Aparigraha, you may find that you can honor your past and your loved one while still moving forward into a life marked by resilience and openness to whatever comes next.
In embracing Aparigraha, you embrace the flow of life—its comings and goings—and discover that in each moment, there is potential for renewal and transformation. This acceptance does not diminish the love or the death but situates them within a larger tapestry of human experience, one that you continue to weave with each act of letting go and each step forward.
If you’ve been navigating the challenging waters of grief on your own, we have an opportunity to join the waitlist for our grief support community, Casa Verde. This program is specifically designed for young women like you. Casa Verde offers a compassionate space to explore your grief, connect with others who truly understand, and learn strategies to help you move forward with intention and care.
Join the waitlist and start your journey towards healing and rediscovery with a community that cares and understands your grief.